Saturday, September 20, 2014

Changing Winds

Well, glad to be back to the warm shower of affection from my most endearing fans...

Lol, kinda funny to me I guess. Although. it wouldn't hurt to have one random poker enthusiast stumble by and be blown away by my story, but kinda hard when I don't really give a crap about building my brand just yet. Also, it might be the best idea to delay building that brand until I feel my story is worth telling.

And imho, we are almost there.

Up until two weeks ago the time in between posts has been super productive and moderately profitable ;) That is, I caved and I finally bought myself a new computer that I have been dreaming about for years. The universe somehow found a slightly amusing anecdote to give me the means necessary to put the new setup together. So for the past little while I have given myself a poker vacation and started living my life to the fullest outside of this; my deepest passion to make it as a poker professional. It has been fun playing games, enjoying life and hanging with friends. Exactly what I needed to realize where I am, how I got here and where I intend to go.

One conversation I had with my newest poker buddy a couple days ago finally set off a light inside my head as to what is really going on in my life. And guess what!? The conversation had nothing to do with poker!! I know rite!?!? In a completely indirect way he stirred the very essence of my being and allowed me to gain a much deeper understanding of the passion I have inside of me and the path I have set in front of myself. It is not poker, it is not even music or poetry which I would be doing everyday if money was no object. It has everything to do with realizing my full potential, chasing the dream of fulfillment in life and the satisfaction that comes with it. It really is hard to narrow it down into things like what I could do with all the free time and money when I make it, the joy of spirited competition, the personal development required to achieve my goals or the life skills gained as a result of high levels of success. It is more like finding that momentary glimpse of a perfect life knowing that it is entirely possible and nothing will keep you from it.

Anyways, I feel I should leave it at that. I don't want to get all high and mighty on fluff and cake walks, but suffice to say I am in a new mindset and am just ready to show the world what I bring to the table.

Aside from the vacation, I have been very diligent in keeping poker records. Now with a decent sample size I am able to derive a more profitable understanding of my own poker game. The important things to consider now are how to best optimize my study, review and poker playing hours given the week to week circumstances. The weeks leading up to the vacation were good indications of how I will react if I were to dive off the deep end. Suffice to say, I will not be able to follow daily or weekly schedules, but I will be able to set and hit challenging weekly and monthly goals. The long term plan is still the end result, but I have found a much better way of allowing myself the time and freedom needed to take the next steps.

What weighed heavy on my motivation was the effort needed to take those steps. Of course the basics of goal setting and evental acheiving are more or less concrete but that doesn't mean I have to follow the rules entirely. The real question when it comes down to it is 'Why?' Why am I doing this certain action? What am I trying to do?

Honestly reading this over I still don't really know what it is that has changed in me, but I feel it. I just know that it will take hell and high water to keep me from continuing along this epic of a journey. I know with unwavering certainty and undaunted courage that nothing will stop me and everything is going to be useful along the way.

One day...


So still no news about Amaya leaving Canada. No news is good news in this situation I think. Seems like I can still keep a decently long term plan with Stars in the mix.

The BR is sitting up at a newish high but my record keeping has been very poor with respect to this blog, so you won't find it here anymore. Don't worry, I am still tracking it on my own without your help thank you very much. I am playing almost exclusively 18m turbos now. The edges at the $3.50 levels are just too wide to pass up and grind high volume with hyper turbo sattys. My best hourly by far. The game gives me a bit more to chew on with respect to deepening and widening my poker IQ as well, so that is where my focus is on. I imagine I will get back into MTTSnGs soon again, which is kind of ironic since that is where I first started way back in the day. Honestly, I feel very proud of my results considering the entire effort required to be able to pursue my dream.

The biggest hurdle I have to haul over in the immediate future is developing my new setup. Funny how you don't notice how much routine you have until you give it a complete cosmetic readjustment. It has opened up my mind to some new ways of thinking as well as becoming aware of my habitual thought, so I should have a much easier time of keeping my mind elastic while smoothing out the edges.

The old job is gone, just the one now. Although, they are keeping me pretty busy, I am actually working more since I quit. The adjustment period is mostly over, I have a set routine that I can work around and I no longer feel guilty when all of my free time is not used for poker in some form. The potential for a future backup career is starting to look more and more not like a backup anymore. The job really does take what I am best at and combine it with my strongest passions, so I don't think I will ever completely walk away from it. I just might adjust the way I go about my business in it.

And the personal life has been taking an upswong, ldo with the wall of text above us here. I can honestly say that I have never been happier in this moment of my life and the funny thing is that all I do is continuously set the groundwork for an even better tomorrow.

Well boys and girls, the momentum is behind me without a doubt. How, when and what this journey will look like at the end I have no idea. But I have the means and the justification, that is to say I know why.

GL and see you at the tables!

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